Pretty White for a FlyGuy
This Blog is filled with various Science & Life stuff I get up to in and out of my career, and also things I think are important to think about and do.
I also share the ideas / concepts / advice I've collected along these journeys
You can subscribe to my Blog below to stay updated:
I also share the ideas / concepts / advice I've collected along these journeys
You can subscribe to my Blog below to stay updated:
Towards a Solution...
I feel really fortunate to be at Imperial, not least because of the PostDoc community that exists here.
Unlike other Universities I've been in, Imperial funds a specific department (the Postdoc Development Centre) to support & assist the progression of early career academics to help them achieve what they want. Thankfully, they do not assume that everyone's aiming for a career within academia, so it doesn't create a 'rush to the front' atmosphere, offering courses / workshops / advice to those thinking of alternative career paths. More importantly, the centre promotes the pastoral support for its researchers. Predominantly run by ex-postdocs, they understand the pressures early career researchers can put on themselves, along with the competitiveness of being in a research-heavy institute like Imperial, and support the mental health of their employees. Also, Imperial provides money for a Postdoc Social Groups across the University, creating a community to share experiences & concerns, as well as assist each other in skills & experiments. In the Department of Life Sciences, we have monthly seminars where we eat Pizza & present in a friendly environment. I even got to tell some more people about my flies :) So although it's not the perfect solution to the 'Post-doc crisis', it's a great step in the right direction! |
Fearing for the Future
Most academic research isn’t very well funded. The majority of money comes from the government or charities where Principle Investigators (PIs), a.k.a. lecturers, apply for to fund specific projects to employ researchers, either PhD students or Post-Docs, with low success rates (sometimes as little as 12%). As a result, full-time positions (even fixed-term) are pretty limited given the number or doctoral graduates out there.
Post-doc contracts usually last the same length that projects are funded (i.e. 2-5 years), but as researchers move around, many contracts are released to finish-up projects and commonly last 6 – 24 months! It's disadvantageous for researchers to stay in the same lab/University, so to stay competitive, many feel pressure to move Uni or country between contracts. Re-establishing yourself every 2 or so years means you can never plan for the long-term future, or create lasting connections with others, including partnerships. Furthermore, with limited salaries (~£30k) and contracts makes it near impossible to get approved for a mortgage or even save enough for a decent deposit, limiting the security for early academics. This on top of the mental pressures academic life brings can put researchers in difficult positions, especially as support groups of friends are often disrupted and broken during moves. These pressures were highlighted recently in a report which attributed them to the tragic death of an Irish post-doc. |
Incapable Imposters
When it comes to the mental toll of academia, I think Imposter Syndrome is pretty under-rated...
Generally, this is where you feel you can’t fulfill your expectations (mostly job-related, but not always!) such that you feel like everything you've achieved (e.g. your position, your girlfriend etc.) was a 'fluke'... just chance. You can feel like an imposter, dreading to be found out, and with it, your accomplishments stripped away. A recent article explains it pretty well. This feeling is relatively common in the general public, but REALLY frequent amongst academics (some suggesting 90%!) and I think this is a major issue. As Science by its very nature fails super often, researchers must learn to deal with failure in a healthy way. When they don't (which I fear is often), they can blame themselves and lose confidence, especially in an environment which commonly offers more criticism than praise, (see below) and lacks effective supportive structures for both research students and staff. Unfortunately I think it frequently falls on early career researchers to identify and learn how to cope with their own symptoms. However it's clear that academia is wising-up to, and beginning to address, this wide-spread issue which steals much creative potential. |
Continuous Comparisons
The bread & butter of research life is critically analysing your own work and the work of others.
Although necessary (and helpful!), such an attitude can easily spill out to other aspects of the every-day. When such an attitude is continually applied to your own thoughts, ideas, and efforts, this can lead to a feeling of worthlessness. Combine this, in the realm of academia, with an overload of graduates/post-docs for very few full-time academic positions (1 for every 10 post-docs!) and you get intense competition between researchers, fostering continuous comparisons between them. Like ogling at a facebook feed, this constant comparison can hinder the self-worth that many young scientists struggle with. Add this to an insecure job market, and anxiety can become a major part of an academics life. Knowing when your being too critical is a skill in itself (especially when encouraged to do so!), but there are steps which have helped me and my friends a lot! Wikihow has an excellent 'course' for anyone to keep positive and stay challenged in a healthy way :) And of course, it always helps to talk and share with others, you'll be surprised by how many share your exact same thoughts! |
The Mental Toll of Academia - The Sad Scientist
When I first realised that ‘Scientist’ was an occupation, I was convinced it was the only true career which actively aimed for, and supported, honesty and learning. I built it up in my mind, and expected an environment full of excited, happy, and diverse people working, and being praised, on question they thought were the most important in the world!
Like most things in life reality doesn’t quite live up to the dream. Although academia generally supports diversity (as far as I’ve seen), and is certainly exciting*, happy people can sometimes be difficult to find. In fact academia itself has a really high proportion of people with depression and mental health issues relative to other occupations and the general public, with a 2017 report stating 37% of staff face mental disorders! I think there a number of factors feed into this and over the next few weeks (posts?) I’ll be exploring thoughts & concerns I’ve collected from friends, experiences and the wider literature *Excitement in advancing human knowledge, shared ideas etc. but also the ‘excitement’ which comes with a dynamic, insecure career... |
"So you wanna be a Teacher?"
In short “No!”, but I want to elaborate a bit.
I, like all postgrads, know that there’s a lack of opportunities to continue a research career. As a result many look to achieve other things with their lives and follow their passions, I’ve heard (& seen!) a lot, from entrepreneurs, to play-writes, cult-leaders, to musicians, and most commonly, teachers.
There’s a lot of opportunities in teaching, and it seems a rather obvious transition seeing as postgrads have a lot of specialist knowledge, and are usually involved in different teaching / outreach programs. As someone who really loved what little scope I had of teaching and outreach during my PhD, I seriously considered (as many have) that my path was in secondary education.
After my studies I looked into teaching paths and The Brilliant Club’s Researchers in Schools initiative won my attention. After getting my research offer at Imperial (thanks Tony!), I still was interested in exploring this, and found they had a program (the Scholars Program) for active researchers to run short courses in disadvantaged schools. A teaching friend also got me to judge a Science Fair, the kids were excellent and the first kid had done the poster I’ve put as the image here on ageing & memory, it was class!
I ran a few courses in this program for kids aged 11 – 17, and I loved it, honestly. The organising, the planning, the actual teaching & discussions… BUT, the atmospheres in the schools were, I felt, restrictive. Many teachers, unpassionate, the integration between subjects, limited, the kids, self-conscious, and the organisation, frustrating. To be clear, I don’t think this was a specific problem with the schools I worked in, I think it’s a symptom of the mass-organisation of mass-teaching which is almost impossible to overcome.
In contrast with the teaching I do at Uni, of course a lot of students are self-conscious, and many lecturers are difficult/particular etc., but I feel way more free in how / what / and why I teach. I teach because I’m passionate for the subject, and for their progression, not because I must. I can try lecturing, problem-solving, peer discussion etc. and am not restricted to making sure no-one’s feeling even a little bit uncomfortable with new concepts / methods. Although I have a core curriculum, I can get there by my means (given the allotted time), and I can explore anecdotes, avenues & sporadic thought experiments.
I am aware that this is a very privileged position, but it’s something I think is at the core of high-quality tertiary education. Students are here to learn how to think, learn how to develop and communicate knowledge, and learn how to be experts, and I want to help them do that.
So, no I don't wanna be a teacher, but I'd like to be a facilitator of their learning.
I, like all postgrads, know that there’s a lack of opportunities to continue a research career. As a result many look to achieve other things with their lives and follow their passions, I’ve heard (& seen!) a lot, from entrepreneurs, to play-writes, cult-leaders, to musicians, and most commonly, teachers.
There’s a lot of opportunities in teaching, and it seems a rather obvious transition seeing as postgrads have a lot of specialist knowledge, and are usually involved in different teaching / outreach programs. As someone who really loved what little scope I had of teaching and outreach during my PhD, I seriously considered (as many have) that my path was in secondary education.
After my studies I looked into teaching paths and The Brilliant Club’s Researchers in Schools initiative won my attention. After getting my research offer at Imperial (thanks Tony!), I still was interested in exploring this, and found they had a program (the Scholars Program) for active researchers to run short courses in disadvantaged schools. A teaching friend also got me to judge a Science Fair, the kids were excellent and the first kid had done the poster I’ve put as the image here on ageing & memory, it was class!
I ran a few courses in this program for kids aged 11 – 17, and I loved it, honestly. The organising, the planning, the actual teaching & discussions… BUT, the atmospheres in the schools were, I felt, restrictive. Many teachers, unpassionate, the integration between subjects, limited, the kids, self-conscious, and the organisation, frustrating. To be clear, I don’t think this was a specific problem with the schools I worked in, I think it’s a symptom of the mass-organisation of mass-teaching which is almost impossible to overcome.
In contrast with the teaching I do at Uni, of course a lot of students are self-conscious, and many lecturers are difficult/particular etc., but I feel way more free in how / what / and why I teach. I teach because I’m passionate for the subject, and for their progression, not because I must. I can try lecturing, problem-solving, peer discussion etc. and am not restricted to making sure no-one’s feeling even a little bit uncomfortable with new concepts / methods. Although I have a core curriculum, I can get there by my means (given the allotted time), and I can explore anecdotes, avenues & sporadic thought experiments.
I am aware that this is a very privileged position, but it’s something I think is at the core of high-quality tertiary education. Students are here to learn how to think, learn how to develop and communicate knowledge, and learn how to be experts, and I want to help them do that.
So, no I don't wanna be a teacher, but I'd like to be a facilitator of their learning.
'WtF?' (Why the Fly?)
"It was so fun!!!"
One of the PhD students who helped in our 'Why the Fly?' exhibit during this year's Imperial Festival summed our experience in four words :) This festival is an opportunity to show-case some of the research that's ongoing at Imperial College and to demonstrate to the public, in their terms, why scientific research is vital. This year we co-ordinated an effort between three fly labs (Dr Marc Dionne, Dr Giorgio Gilestro & Dr Tony Southall) to run an interactive workshop at the festival explaining why we study flies, and demonstrating how we look at their development, behvaiour and disease. It was great to talk to so many enthusiastic kids and adults and it was even better (and funnier!) to hear their perspectives and questions. Memorably one little girl stated that 'humans have 7 genes, and flies have a little less, like 5' :D She was astonished when she found out we actually have around 20,000! & that flies aren't far off. Another boy asked 'what is the difference between flies & bees?' It's so great to consider answers to these questions we wouldn't think of in our day-to-day work. He seemed fascinated with whatever I could tell him about eusociality in bees and why that would evolve. My four words? "Bring on next year!" :p |
Cemetery Clean-Up
I have to admit I haven't done much 'Get to it!' volunteering stuff since I moved to London, but it's something I've really missed as it makes me feel grateful, purposeful and gives an opportunity to meet great people.
Today I went out with Sunday Assembly Action group to Tower Hamlets Cemetery Park to clear up some of the overgrowth there with a lovely team. It was pretty hard work as we got nettle stings all-over, and everyone found out they have hay fever, but it was a lot of fun! I learnt a lot about the park's history, the team that manage it, & the educational events they put on. If nothing else, it was fantastic to spend some hours in the morning in such a beautiful, peaceful place. I was reminded by a modern tradition in Japan called 'Shinrinyoku' or 'Forest Bathing' which is supposed to relieve stress and improve health. For me the experience solidified the importance of practically doing something in which you can see a direct change. Even better, if you can do this is as a collective group, and achieve something which you think is purposeful or meaningful in some way, it's very easy to gain pride in what you have achieved and grow relationships along the way. I'll be endeavouring to do way more of this in the future! |
March for Science
I went to the March for Science on Sat April 22nd with colleagues and friends to support the Political atmosphere around how Science is viewed and its funding in general. Although I missed the march itself, I was asked on Exhibition Road by loads of people who missed its kick-off and were looking for directions (I had a lab coat on, so was a bit of a give-away :p ) I made the rally and heard the range of speakers, from a Nano Scientist to a Physics Professor and comedian. Obviously they were all supporting the impact Science has had on the world and our society, but a few interesting points were raised: - It's our responsibility as Scientists to push for the education of the wider public to be more science literate. I think we can do this by outreach events, but more importantly by engaging informally with non-scientists in constructive, unchallenging ways. Figuring out how is up to us! - Science, although great, is shrouded in sexism, racism, and personal politics. We need to sort our internal conflicts out and not sell ourselves as the 'pure-truth-givers' we often like to be perceived as It was clear that there was a good energy and feeling at the march and I look forward to help channeling that in steps to come. |
London Life
I've been living in London since 2015.
In that time I've experienced a lot in this city which has enriched my life, but has not always been fun.
As a lover of lists, I've come up with my own about London:
Pros
- Amazing Sites / Places
- Headquarters to a lot of societies, organisations are here, which usually means lots if interesting / challenging events
- Fantastic transport links to UK cities & abroad
- Focal point for intellectual/progressive events (marches, talks, gigs, if it's big, it will for sure be here)
- Friends (a lot of people live / pass through London for leisure / work at least once in their lives, so you get reunited)
- Cycling (it's pretty flat here and there's lots of new cycling lanes to help get around safely)
- Knowing you can get home at ANY time from ANY where via public transport
- ALWAYS new people
Cons
- ALWAYS new people
- It's expensive; which means...
- Limited quality of life* (I know Post-Docs & PhD students in other cities / countries who own their own houses / cars with their salary)
- Difficulty getting around (means few impromptu bar visits with friends as EVERYTHING needs planning in advance)
- Pollution (pretty noticeable, especially if you're a cyclist)
- Crime (friends' bikes have been stolen numerous times and a friend has been mugged!)
- Tourists (uuuuhhhh, get out of my way!!)
- The Piccadilly line
- Not feeling settled (a lot of friends have told me they've had difficulty feeling at home here. It's a transition city)
* Limited quality of life is a double-edged sword. Of course it's annoying / demoralising to not have what you want (i.e. a 1-bed, double-glazed apartment close to work / bars / the Thames), but London's a city of compromise, which I would argue makes life more interesting / meaningful in a few ways (for those in a specific stage of life, and in ways which don't directly affect your health):
1. It forces you to continually assess and alter your circumstances. This gives opportunities to be grateful for what you DO have
2. It keeps you striving for more. Having an (almost impossible) goal provides a purpose. The journey's always better than the destination
3. Everyone's in the same boat and have a similar enemy (London's economic state) which creates a kind of comradery & mutual respect
Overall, for now London's great, but I wouldn't want to live here forever. Also, excellent for visits, so come visit :)
In that time I've experienced a lot in this city which has enriched my life, but has not always been fun.
As a lover of lists, I've come up with my own about London:
Pros
- Amazing Sites / Places
- Headquarters to a lot of societies, organisations are here, which usually means lots if interesting / challenging events
- Fantastic transport links to UK cities & abroad
- Focal point for intellectual/progressive events (marches, talks, gigs, if it's big, it will for sure be here)
- Friends (a lot of people live / pass through London for leisure / work at least once in their lives, so you get reunited)
- Cycling (it's pretty flat here and there's lots of new cycling lanes to help get around safely)
- Knowing you can get home at ANY time from ANY where via public transport
- ALWAYS new people
Cons
- ALWAYS new people
- It's expensive; which means...
- Limited quality of life* (I know Post-Docs & PhD students in other cities / countries who own their own houses / cars with their salary)
- Difficulty getting around (means few impromptu bar visits with friends as EVERYTHING needs planning in advance)
- Pollution (pretty noticeable, especially if you're a cyclist)
- Crime (friends' bikes have been stolen numerous times and a friend has been mugged!)
- Tourists (uuuuhhhh, get out of my way!!)
- The Piccadilly line
- Not feeling settled (a lot of friends have told me they've had difficulty feeling at home here. It's a transition city)
* Limited quality of life is a double-edged sword. Of course it's annoying / demoralising to not have what you want (i.e. a 1-bed, double-glazed apartment close to work / bars / the Thames), but London's a city of compromise, which I would argue makes life more interesting / meaningful in a few ways (for those in a specific stage of life, and in ways which don't directly affect your health):
1. It forces you to continually assess and alter your circumstances. This gives opportunities to be grateful for what you DO have
2. It keeps you striving for more. Having an (almost impossible) goal provides a purpose. The journey's always better than the destination
3. Everyone's in the same boat and have a similar enemy (London's economic state) which creates a kind of comradery & mutual respect
Overall, for now London's great, but I wouldn't want to live here forever. Also, excellent for visits, so come visit :)
Biologay!
As a scientist, I've always been interested in what underlies animal and human behaviour, from the simplest forms (like feeding) to those more complex (like attraction). Looking into the literature of sexual orientation and the factors affecting it has been especially fun and has brought more questions than answers (as always with science!).
I used to help out the student LGBTQ society at the University of Bath, and gave a presentation of what I found over the years called 'Biologay!'. It's an online Prezi presentation so feel free to view it, but keep in mind it's quite a few years old now (2012!). My research hasn't been to make me feel more comfortable with who I am, but has given me arguments for people who challenge the rights of LGBTQ people all over the world, which unfortunately are pretty common. Additionally, it's shown me the fallacies in a lot of the explanations people give FOR homosexuality. One which particularly gets me is how we see evidence of same-sex relationships in the animal kingdom. Yes, we do, but the circumstances in which we see it are so extreme and linked to the specific context f that species existence, that they have no (or little) relation to show our own sexuality and gender identity has evolved in our own species! |